Ugly Cycle

Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder, with which I am blessed, comes with the curse of random non-circadian cycles. Not for everyone, but for many, of whom I am one. I’ve been in one of those for three weeks now, and it either just broke or just got crazy worse. I didn’t get to sleep yesterday until some time after I swore off looking at the clock at 7:30AM, arose around 3PM, went back to bed around 10PM, and arose this morning at 7:10. None of which are anywhere near my normal sleep period from around 3AM to about 11:30.

Our internet connection has been out of shape, too. Thirteen consecutive hours of outage a few days ago, intermittent outages since, then another outage of several hours today, and the whole town affected. Being of unsound mind and body, I decided to take advantage of today’s outage to build Amethyst her new workbench. Five trips to the hardware store without having done a damn thing yet convinced me that it’s time to accept that I don’t have brain enough to do even simple things.

Which wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t need sufficient brain to do my job. I kinda made a career out of doing difficult things well enough that I can just sit on my ass at home and people will come to me to ask me to do them, so being three weeks jet-lagged puts me in a tricky place. I don’t know how to fake it. The computers won’t be fooled. Damned things.

It’s these episodes that remind me that I’ll be 55 years old in a few months and still in a profession that is unkind to mental decline. I’m glad to feel Strange-Ri-La getting closer, with the mothership that will give us options by making life very economical. If the software gig gets beyond me after the mothership is fully operational, well, then it does. If Amethyst’s gig is doing well, I might just kick back and put all thoughts of money and commerce out of my head for a while. I could be a kick-ass house-husband.

Except during non-circadian cycles.

Hoping that mine’s just ended I must toddle off before I screw myself up. G’night, all!



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