Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart


Am I still a Bernie Bro after I changed my political party affiliation to Green a few hours ago? If not, what kinds of names might I now be called that don’t sound like slang terms for female masturbation?

In the interest of full disclosure: I am not in any way opposed to female masturbation. In fact, if you are female, I hope you’ll take this opportunity to do so since you’re thinking of it already. I’m all about good ideas that make people happy, don’tcha know.

I’m provisionally very disappointed in Bernie’s statement that he will support Hillary should she become the nominee. I’m suspending judgment until his actual endorsement is issued, of course, but should that happen to be for Hillary I’ll be extremely disappointed. You see, Jill Stein has invited Bernie to collaborate to “ensure the revolution for people, planet and peace will prevail“.

Jill’s got, or I suppose I should say almost certainly has got, the Green Party behind her. She’s their most likely candidate for president, anyway, and was their candidate in 2012. That’s a constituency that’s entirely progressive, and that shares or is sometimes to the left of Bernie’s publicly admitted values. It’s also one backing a candidate who is committed to progressive values like social, economic, and ecological justice rather than one that must continually be forced to inch just a little closer toward them. It’s a party whose platform is very attractive to Bernie’s supporters and whose values are perfectly in line with them, too. The Green Party could easily become Bernie Sanders’ new political home because its values are those he has been championing throughout his decades of public service. Being an established minor party that is attractive to younger voters who are not so enamored of the duopoly, it’s one with inherent staying power if it’s not too badly mismanaged.

Should Bernie not win the nomination of the Democratic Party, he’ll compose what might be one of the most historic sentences in American history when he announces his endorsement for a candidate for president. There’s really no other way to frame it, given that there is a ready-made revolution just waiting for him to energize it. If he endorses Jill Stein, his veracity and his dignity remain unquestionable and his credibility expands to the moon, and will take Jill’s campaign with it. Even if Jill doesn’t win the presidency, it establishes a third party as a legitimate challenge to the entrenched duopoly and a progressive third party at that. That could put into motion a movement that achieves proportional representation, full public-only funding of campaigns, and a whole host of other pro-democratic policies and procedural reforms. Setting that into motion and championing its early development could be the crowning achievement of Bernie’s long career and could earn him a celebrated place in history.

So if it comes to pass that Bernie has to step up to that bully pulpit for what might or might not be the last time he’s got the eyes of the world upon him, and announce which candidate he will support in the upcoming presidential election, he will be publicly choosing between bowing before and swearing an oath of loyalty to the establishment, or striking a historic blow in the fight against it. History just doesn’t offer very many momentous occasions of such crystal moral clarity as that one. Hillary is the queen of the establishment and she will kill countless human beings once she assumes control of the military apparatus of the most violent regime in world history, and Jill is the progressive peacenik who will work to reduce the American military empire to a purely defensive posture and in so doing reduce military spending by more than half. The morality of Bernie’s choice for endorsement could not possibly be any clearer: Murderer, or mother?

That’s up to Bernie.



5 thoughts on “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart

  1. promisesunshine

    now i’m listening. you’ve given me a little hope that i have a choice in november. my good old state did that voting thing on tuesday. i had to tip at the whiskey after i saw how that turned out.

    i’m sure bern is under a lot of pressure for “dividing” the democratic party. and you gotta wonder a little bit what he’s thinking of doing after the election. anyhow, i guess we can still hope that he’ll suggest the alternative candidate.

    1. happierheathen Post author

      Honestly, were it not for Bernie I’d have been a Jill supporter all along because there’s nothing at all lesser-evil about her.

      Funny thing: It’s actually the DNC that’s dividing the party. On all of his signature issues, the majority of the population agrees with him and has held essentially the same views for many decades. If the DNC weren’t corrupting the process, and instead were taking a hands-off, democratic approach, Bernie would have buried Hillary under a landslide already. He’s always had a greater advantage against all of the GOP candidates than Hillary could even hope for, and most polls show her losing to Kasich if he’s the GOP nominee. Pointing blame for division at him is like blaming the green grass for the rain.

      I’ve found that marijuana works a lot better than whiskey for relieving the no-democracy blues. Not that I’m recommending risking jail time for those who cannot legally indulge!

  2. cocosangel

    Oh I am disappointed too about Bernie. But inside the Democratic party, there has been a push for Clinton to be elected. But Bernie kept going. Just like Trump is not what the Republicans want as their candidate, but he is leading.
    I don’t like both Trump and Clinton, and they are the ones who are leading, which would be a disaster for America.

    1. happierheathen Post author

      A disaster for the world and everything that lives on it, I think, is what it would be. The oceans are already rising, the mass extinction is already underway, the global domination of the capitalists has become a rudderless battleship just blowing up everything within range of it, and it’ll soon be too late to get control of any of it. On the other hand, though, people all over the planet have risen and more are continually rising to put a stop to the destructive tendencies of capitalist empire. We can only hope that they can reach the brake pedal before it’s too late to stop the bus from going over the edge of the cliff.


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