As Random As Usual

I played hooky today and it was every bit as fine as I thought it could be. Amethyst and I hopped into The Doat and hauled our asses out of Dinkytown for a while because my attitude was such that a change of scenery was in order, as was getting my shiny new phone turned on and having dinner at an Italian place that doesn’t suck. Sometimes ya just gotta accept the risk of head-on collision on the two-lane for trivial reasons.

It’s in the nooze that the merry pranksters who snagged nude photos of stupid celebrities used an application favored by law enforcement for spying/cracking iPhones and iCloud. Imagine that.

It’s also in the nooze that a couple of deer got onto the Golden Gate bridge, borked up traffic for a while, and enthused the hell out of some folks who’d probably never been so close to a wild animal before. Well, to town deer, anyway. Our grandkids get all kinds of pumped up when deer get into our back yard, too. Heh. City people. I guess deer are wonders of nature if they’re not eating all of the veggies and flowers out of your yard.

Tangentially, mule deer don’t instinctively know that they won’t like jalapeΓ±os. πŸ˜€

During our last grandkid visit we had a fun little experience involving both deer and city people. Our daughter-in-law is very much a city people as are all of her kids. A deer hopped over the fence into our back yard while all of us were out on the deck, talking and laughing and playing, and I silently pointed at the animal just to set up the typical scenario that’s so much fun. DIL turned and looked, her eyes grew big as saucers, then just as quietly as she could she got the kids looking and whispered sternly at them to be quiet and still so as not to scare off the deer. Doesn’t it seem really very obvious that the probability of that deer having failed to see, hear, and/or smell us long before she hopped over a chain link fence to get into the back yard would be zero? I stood up and called out a greeting to the critter that included telling her that I was glad to see her again after she hadn’t been around for a while. DIL shot me a quick glaring look as if I was a jerk for ruining the grandkids’ wondrous experience of nature by scaring the deer away. The doe just sat there under an aspen looking like she was thinking, “Oh, that one. Does he ever shut up?” as she ruminated. When DIL noticed that the deer was unconcerned and another, one of the doe’s two year old fawns, was walking toward the fence to visit for a while, I got to set up the second half:

DIL gave me an apologetic look and I told her that the deer weren’t worried because they know they’re safe here. To which DIL said, scornfully, “Yeah, because they know you won’t shoot them”. “No, they’re not worried at all about people”, I explained, “They feel safe because they know we don’t have any dogs”. DIL is a bright woman and realized that I’d set her up for that, so we both had a good laugh while the grandkids called out “Hi, deer!” and just about wet themselves with glee. They might be voracious critters but I like having them around. The deer, that is.

I’m not so fond of kids, you see, and when the deer come into town they lure the mountain lions in, too. Kids are much slower than deer.


11 thoughts on “As Random As Usual

    1. happierheathen Post author

      DIL just doesn’t know anything about life outside of cities, and I suppose that on the television when people encounter critters they are careful to be very quiet and still. As if our idea of quiet is the same as that of a mule deer with ears that span a square foot in area. πŸ˜€

      It was a joke, that bit about mountain lions eating children, but I was thinking of a few of the neighborhood darlings. Now that we’re empty nesters we’d just as soon be free of children and their idiot parents who excuse their offsprings’ bad behavior by saying “we don’t want to break their spirits”.

  1. girlforgetful

    I think, just like people, that every deer is a unique snowflake. I’ve seen those videos of dog/deer friendships, though I have yet to see a deer/mountain lion frolic video. I suppose anything is possible, even if it is highly unlikely. Up here we have deer that live on the local Air National Guard Base with the various noisy flying machines taking off and landing who occasionally wander onto the runways, or hang out next to the expressway to feed, but if they come up into our yard will run away at the slightest noise. We have cougars here, but they prowl the nail salons and malls, mostly. πŸ˜‰

  2. whyzat

    Deer are a pest in many places these days. In Iowa, driving at night can be dangerous because the things will run out in front of cars. I remember, when I was a kid, they were almost rare and the state was loathe to issue hunting licenses. Conservation works.

    1. happierheathen Post author

      They’re like that here, too. In another month or so it’ll be unusual to go a mile along the highway without seeing a road killed deer or elk on the shoulder. The air ambulance gets a lot of flight time at this time of year, too. In a passenger car you’ve got your head zipping along at highway speed at the same elevation as an elk’s rib cage…

      Yes indeed, conservation works! My favorite example is the wild turkey population. I saw one wild turkey as a child, but have seen countless numbers of them in the last 20 years or so. Damn those nasty hunters anyway, huh?

    1. happierheathen Post author

      I think that out this-a-way we get chupacabra rather than wendigo. I could be wrong. I haven’t seen either, or a yeti for that matter. I did, though, once unwittingly impregnate an extraterrestrial while in a drunken state.


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