My day started on a good enough note for a day that began at 3:30AM. The first few hours were fine.

Amethyst was scheduled to work until 11:30AM, so around 10AM I finally got away from my desk to take a shower and get shaved. I had no sooner got into the shower than she called to tell me she was ready to come home. My phone was in the bedroom, so I got her voicemail when I got out of the shower, and bolted out the door without shaving. Never did get behind my razor today.

Shortly after we got home a client’s new server was delivered so I can install the operating system and software, configure everything included a couple dozen web sites, lots of email accounts, and so on, then ship it out to its new home. It’s not a brand new server, is a refurbished unit, but refurbs are fine with me. Usually.

Just as I was getting good and involved in my work there was a loud bang, like someone slammed a door really hard. I dashed upstairs to see if Amethyst was okay, and met her dashing downstairs to see if I was okay. We were both okay. Miss Autumn was okay, too. We looked all around and nothing had fallen, so I went outside to see if something had hit the house. There was no sign of anything hitting the house. Hmmm. I want back to the garage which I’d already checked and took another, more careful look. The spring from one side of the (roll-up) door was gone. Fuckety fuck fuck fuck. I went around my truck and found the spring, broken, on the floor. There was no safety cable through the middle of the thing, but at least this time it didn’t clobber the side of my truck as it did when the cable came untogether a couple of years ago. When I thought that it would be a very good idea to put a safety cable inside that spring so it wouldn’t fly all around the garage and do serious damage to people or property when it finally got around to breaking.

That damn door is heavy. I got it open, and restrained so it couldn’t fall, then rolled the truck outside so I wouldn’t have to fight with the heavy door at 4AM. The truck is on the driveway… And it’s fucking snowing. Of course. Because I just dearly love scraping my damned windshield at 4AM. It’s my second favorite activity, right after slamming my dick in the door, finding that it’s locked, and that my keys are on the other side. Just in time for the Jehovah’s Witnesses come around.

Back to work on that new/refurbed server. Being a paranoid bastard, I’ve got the disk array set up as nine partitions so that nothing that might get out of hand and fill the disk can cause harm outside of the partition it gets to play in. That means lots of plunking away at the keyboard to create those partitions and set up the disk arrays. Then the second disk drive went tits up. Of course.

Oh, is that an inadvertent anti-feminist thing, saying tits up? (Hi, Sean! πŸ˜€ Just teasin’!)

Oh joy, a “warranty issue”. The tech support weenies are sure to be a pain in the ass if I don’t do my homework up front, so I set about doing my homework. I reformatted the drives and started the install over, and it puked at about the same point in the process. Smells like a thermal failure to me. So I removed the failed drive and started over. It went well. But that leaves the question of whether it’s a bad drive or a bad drive bay unanswered, so I jumped through the hoops to mark the brand new drive failed, move it to the bay from which the failed drive was removed, and rebooted.

Then I noticed that the thing stalls for a long time during the boot process trying to boot from the network. For our needs, dickless, er, uh, diskless booting is unnecessary and a waste of time and network traffic. So I popped into the BIOS configuration, switched off dickless (AKA “PXE”) booting, and did a save/reset. Expecting happiness at last I went and did something else for a few minutes because it’s a slow booting piece of crap anyway, and when I came back it wasn’t booted. It was just lying there like a trout on a parking lot. FML. I went back into the BIOS, undid the thing I changed… still no boot. Fuckety fuck fuck fuck!

Back into the BIOS, reset to factory default… this time it tries to boot, but when the disk array cranks up it can’t find the disks where it expects them to be. It’s kinda hard to boot when most of the stuff you need to run the computer can’t be found.

Around and around I went, and just now my most recent install seems to be on track to finish up successfully. Which of course means that the sumbitch is fixin’ to catch fire. It’s already noisy and hot here in my office because rackmount servers are just that way, and I’m feeling a bit pissy because I’ve spent many hours in here being hot, annoyed by the noise, and frustrated by this simple process gone wrong. It would be considerably cooler if I could open the office door, but then Miss Autumn would come in and want to shred the packing material that the server has to be protected by when it leaves.

I’d rather be hanging out with the cat than this nasty damned Dell piece of shit. But the good news is that it’s rebooted and working. For now. But it’s too early to be happy.

Now I get to do more hoop jumping to prove that it’s a bad drive, since the bay it used to be in looks to be fine. But what the hell, I’m more than three hours from hitting my glorious pillow on my wondrous waterbed so I might as well be doing that. I’d rather be installing and configuring software so I can get this noisy bitch out of my office just that much faster.

Oh, wait. I heard somewhere recently that bitch is a no-no word. πŸ˜€

Some days I’m really glad that Colorado has legalized the weed. But I have to drive Amethyst to work in three hours now, so I’m just sitting being annoyed by the heat and noise and frustrated that the quick and easy part of the job has been anything but quick and easy.

I guess I should just be happy. If this stuff was easy it wouldn’t be a career.


10 thoughts on “FML

  1. theinfiniterally

    I’ve been thinking about words you shouldn’t say lately. I have come to the conclusion that the crime of kibosh-ing free-speaking is worse than the damage free-speaking causes. Does that make me a grownup or an adult? I think it makes me a grownup because the thought even entered my head but an adult because I reached a mellow conclusion.

    What a shitty day! I hope you get some R&R soon.

    1. happierheathen Post author

      In my view, in which grown-up means child who has attained the age of majority and adult means self-sufficient, self respecting, and self directed, that would make you an adult. It’s being emotionally attached to the individual words that grown-ups do — because someone in a position of authority told them to respond that way. My favorite analogy: The radio waves are not the music.

  2. g.

    “Never did get behind my razor today.”
    Ah, I’ve been absent for a while, but I’m glad to get back to your posts. This line is worthy of John Wayne. Heh.

    1. happierheathen Post author

      There you is! I was wondering if you’d gone over the horizon or something. It’s good to know you’re still alive and kicking. Or at least typing. πŸ™‚

  3. southernhon


    All that computer lingo stuff goes straight over my head, but it sure sounds like a royal pain in the ass.

    Some days I wish I smoked weed. I can sure relate to such a shitty day.

  4. LAMarcom

    Heathen, You crack me the fuck up.
    My first computer was a 386SX I purchased at Dillard’s Department Store (don’t ask).
    I soon discovered that there was something called a 486/33 fresh off the market. So… I took my lame-ass 386/SX back to Dillard’s for a refund. They had to call the manager:
    “We cannot take back your computer”
    “Why not?
    “Because Sir, we do not take returns on electronics.”
    OK. Now I’m pissed.
    “Sir,” I said, “I invite you to turn your head around and read to me that sigh over there on the wall, which says, and I quote: ‘All returns Welcome.”
    Cutting to the chase: I got to return my POS 386/SX and then I went to a clone shop in Dallas and bought a 486/33.
    Discovered computer games and the rest of my life has been wasted. (Sid Meir’s ‘Civilization’ cost me my job–Thanks Sid)
    Anyway, over the next few months, I completely rebuilt my 486. I added memory. A Soundblaster Sound Card. An extra HDD, etc.)
    Years later, when I got my first Pentium, I willed my 486 to my third wife, as she had a MAC (Communist) and needed to access some PC shit.
    Well, at this point, the Old 486 was rather long in the tooth and the Power Supply had died on her.
    So I pulled an old PS out of another old computer and duct-taped it to the side of the 486 (it was too big to fit in the ‘box.”
    Well Shit! It worked didn’t it?
    Such are the times that try men’s (computer geek’s) lives.

    Great Story Heathen

  5. 0hmyword

    You had me at “partitioning” then lost me at “weed”, from that moment on I was plotting my chances of moving to Canada & legalizing my lifestyle. Hope your day gets betterah – there’s a word I use all too often. Mostly, it’s because I boyfriend thinks it’s cute when I say it. Mainly, it’s because it pisses people off.


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