I was still coming out of my nightly coma when the power went off this morning just before 4:30. Unlike, say, the entire New England region, we don’t often see power outages in wintertime. This being Colorado, and most of us having been here for more than two weeks, we know it will snow every now and then and that our critical infrastructure will be impacted if we don’t take steps to prevent it. I was out in the garage shortening my life when the lights went off, and after the initial WTF passed in a few seconds I looked out through the windows in the garage door to see the glow of the porch light on the house across the street. Hmm… To the back door I went, and peering out I saw not only the lights of the houses across the alley, but also the deck light of the neighbor to the north. Shucks, darn. Maybe it’s just us? Going out to check the power distribution panel wasn’t on my list of things to do before coffee this morning.
Oh yeah! Coffee! Upstairs to the kitchen I go, and find that the water I’d been heating on the stove to pour through the Cone Of Wonder was just lukewarm. Eh, that’s better than cold, right? The stuff from the tap would be hotter, and though it’s bad to make a habit of drinking from that side it’s probably not going to be a significant risk with just occasional consumption. But I’m a thoughtful guy so I leave the hot water supply alone just in case Amethyst needs it in The Green Room. That’s our upstairs bathroom, The Green Room.
Now that I’ve corrected the imbalance of too much blood in my caffeine stream it’s obvious that our gas fired water heater doesn’t know or care about electrical power.
Anyway, after crunching through the ice crust atop the snow in the back yard and finding that all of our circuit breakers are still properly set I called the electric cooperative. Their number is answered after hours by the sheriff’s department, whose dispatcher informed me that the linemen are already working on the problem (yeah, right) and it’ll be a couple of hours before power is restored. It’s nice to know that they’re on the job, but two hours? I don’t want to go back to bed and risk fouling my circadian rhythm even worse, but I also don’t want to just sit on the sofa in the dark for two hours.
Fortunately, it was just about a half hour before the power was restored, just long enough to make the lukewarm coffee, feed Miss Awesome, and get my netbook ready to go.
Unfortunately, about a half hour after that I could smell the dry saucepan overheating on the (electric) range upstairs. I’d forgotten to turn the darn thing off. I never knew before just how hot the lid of a saucepan can get when it’s cooked dry. You won’t hang onto it for long with bare fingers. Since I was there anyway I put more water on to heat for my second mug of Life Juice and then came back downstairs to see if I could think up something to blog about. Obviously, I failed miserably.
After finding something that I probably shouldn’t write about, but will anyway, I went back upstairs to make another mug of Life Juice. At the top of the stairs I could hear the pan sizzling. Water doesn’t sizzle. The skillet in which I made the gravy for last night’s chicken fried steak, on the back burner where I usually heat my water, though, will sizzle just fine. The dishes weren’t washed last night because dinner was late and bedtime came just as we finished eating. That’s a bad idea, going to bed immediately after a meal, but I’ve never discarded an idea just because it was a bad one.
I hope there’s no more evidence of rectocranial impaction waiting to be discovered. Not at my house, anyway.
I have seen evidence of rectocranial impaction outside of our happy home this morning. Apparently that person is unaware that here in Colorado we practice this revolutionary thing called democracy, and many of us value personal liberty and support it even when others have liberties we don’t care to exercise in our own lives. Also, apparently, a supermarket chain is supposed to turn away customers of whom that person disapproves. I’m probably way too amused by the fact that someone whose writing indicates bat shit crazy conservative views is up in arms in opposition to democracy, personal liberty, and states’ rights.
More and more evidence is piling up to support my hypothesis that someone is slipping Bat Shit Crazy pills into the domestic drinking water supplies all over Merika.
PS: Hey, Voice Person, you might like Arizona better, as even simple cannabis possession there is a felony offense. That’s why their black market is absolutely booming, but at least you can know that some otherwise peaceful folks are going to prison for offending your sense of morality.