All For Equality, I Am.

This chick gets it:

At least as far as she goes with it. But I’m not going to allow myself to get started on the topic of how identified classes (to borrow a term from the Supreme Court Of The United States) tend to plant their stakes in some social ills or injustices and make them exclusively their own, heaping derision upon any other identified class who dares to speak of it. Can you see how unusually disciplined I am by leaving that topic now?

Half of my wives have been the sort that Ms. Marbles speaks of in the video above, those who wanted to be equal while maintaining those aspects of traditional gender roles that work to their benefit. They were essentially the prototypes of the modern neo-feminist movement, a little ahead of its time so not quite so in your face and honest about it. Neither of the two wanted to work and most often didn’t, but when they did work they wanted to (demanded that we) divvy up the expenses so that we each paid an equal percentage of our incomes toward the household budget — which might seem fair enough, except they resented the hell out of the fact that under that arrangement I had more disposable income. That’s just not fair! It’s not fair at all that a man should have more disposable income just because he’s a man! What ended up happening was that all of my income went into the joint checking account as community property (where they had every legal right to take all of it because we were married) while only their calculated percentages went into that account. When they didn’t feel like working they didn’t keep a tally of their debt to the household budget or to me. They figured that their incomes were zero, so their obligations were zero, too. They were raising my children, gaw dammit!

Of course, I didn’t have more disposable income under those cockamamie schemes just because I was a man. It was because I had better jobs, and they weren’t better because I was male. Engineers make more money than “administrative assistants” and retail clerks. Both women had dropped out of college, and I had no input whatsoever in those decisions. Both women had the option to return to school and both knew that I would gladly pay for it (even though I secretly knew that it would be a sucker bet on my part). The first one actually attended more than half a semester.

Me? I never attended college because I inadvertently started a family with a woman who lied to me about the impossibility of it. I instead had to work my ass off to become the engineer I wanted to be with only formal training enough to be a technician. It was barely possible then and is completely impossible today. I was temporally lucky. In a manner akin to taking a nasty fall and being lucky that only one arm and one leg were broken.

But they were raising my children gaw dammit! Yeah, right. Sorry, ladies, that bullshit does not wash with me. I was a single father for a number of years, working full time and raising children, maintaining a home more spotless than any woman I’ve ever been with would, and cooking better meals than any woman I’ve ever been with could. I was up several times a night with the baby, and did all of those other things that women like to make out are so incredibly taxing, without shoving any of the work off on the kids. The kids had only to clean up after themselves and keep their rooms (somewhat) clean. My brothers down at Patriarchy Headquarters didn’t help out by sending their slave bitches around to do the cooking and cleaning, unless I’m unaware of it because the slave bitches also put false memories of having done it myself into my mind. Sure, there were some very unpleasant and a few absolutely hellish moments, but overall I loved those periods of my life and still reflect fondly upon them. I just cannot see how I’m raising your children gaw dammit!Β is all that special or makes up for anything at all. I even told both of ’em that if it was that taxing on them they should get their asses out to earn a paycheck and leave me to be the full time parent because I loved that job more than any other.

I was better at it than they were, and if concern for the well being of the children was their true motivation they would have gone out and got some relatively high paying manual labor jobs requiring no education. Men do that all over the world, grinding themselves down and accepting hardship, discomfort, and grave risks to provide the most they possibly can with the limited capacities they have.

Oh, but it’s just not right to expect a woman to take on that kind of work so her husband can be a stay at home dad? Blow me slowly.

I am 100% in favor of equality. What those two ex-wives of mine want is not equality. It is superiority. They want all of the same rights, and they are entitled to them. Already got ’em, too, as far as I can tell. Along the way, though, they also want to maintain their superiority in relationships, the superiority that comes from continuing to enforce traditional gender roles that benefit them and only those that benefit them.

It’s pretty darn rare to see a woman in a serious relationship with a man who earns significantly less than she does. Apparently the heart wants what the heart wants, and the heart doesn’t want to support any worthless not so manly man whose career ambitions are inferior to a woman’s.

The mother gets to decide, if it’s at all feasible to do so, if she wants to be a career woman or a stay at home mom. The father’s input might be solicited, but it often does not matter because it’s her decision in the end and there’s no option for the man but to accept it if she makes a unilateral decision. If the man tries to unilaterally decide that he’s going to be a stay at home dad, the best outcome is that she’ll divorce his ass and some judge will give him a fixed period of time to restore his income to its proven potential so he can pay to support the woman and children. The worst outcome is that she won’t divorce his ass, but will instead emasculate him daily with biting words and harsh treatment. The stay at home dads I’ve known all had their wives’ approval, but were treated badly by them just the same. And were cheated on, too, every one of them.

After I got rid of the third wife, the second neo-feminist, I sat down in the house she’d emptied and thought, “How the hell did this happen to a guy so liberated as me?”. I dig equality. I wasn’t ever a big proponent of the traditional gender roles. I didn’t often date women who didn’t have at least decent jobs, if not careers, because I couldn’t trust that Little Missy Loves You wasn’t lying through her vagina. I had no problem at all going dutch, or paying for alternate dates. I preferred it. When a woman asked if I wanted to be the one handing over her cash or credit card, I explained that as far as pride went I was proud to be the man who was out with a woman who could and would pay her share, and that what I’d be ashamed to be is a brainwashed macho idiot who’d pay for everything just to prove that in the end both he and the woman consider her to be a socially acceptable form of prostitute.

Of course, how the hell that happened to a guy so liberated as me was a question I couldn’t answer at the time, and it’s not really relevant to this pile of pissing women off at me anyway.

Fortunately, things went the way they did and I eventually convinced Amethyst to come to Colorado for a visit that hasn’t ended. She’s into equality, too. We’re not insane about it, divvying things up so that she mows the lawn every other time and I wash the laundry every other time, or anything so rooted in power and jealousy as that. We don’t keep score. We don’t have her money and my money because we work together for the common good. Though one hour of my labor is worth many times more dollars on the open market than is one hour of her labor, hours of her life are every bit as valuable as hours of mine. We’ve never even discussed who would perform which chores. We just live, and things get done somehow. Some things she always or almost always does, some things I always or almost always do, and other things get done by whichever of us feels like doing it or by both of us. That’s all that matters in that regard. We share our lives together.

I’ve read here and there lately that neo-feminist chicks are complaining that there aren’t any good men. Heh. Sure there are. They just don’t date bitches who openly profess to hate men. Seems simple enough to me.


20 thoughts on “All For Equality, I Am.

  1. whyzat

    I feel bad that you’ve had so many bad experiences with shitty women. We can be selfish dumbasses, or some of us can be. Maybe I would have turned out that way if I hadn’t married the guy I married. He never believed in the gender role deal. We didn’t talk about it and I didn’t think about it much. I don’t work, so I just expect to do all the of the household stuff. I do the lawnwork, too. Of course, there are some things I need him to to just because he’s bigger and stronger than I am. I get an allowance for my personal stuff, like clothes and whatever extra stuff I want (though I think I could get just about anything if I asked), and I control how much gets spent on food cause I get the groceries. Otherwise, I just let him do what he wants with the money he works for. It just makes sense to me.
    I think I understand your first paragraph and I’ve noticed it, too. It might be something we all are guilty of now and then.
    Like southernhorn above, I don’t like the girl’s language. I inwardly wince when I hear the word “fuck” used so casually. I guess it’s just the way I was raised.
    I’m glad you finally found someone who fits your style.

    1. happierheathen Post author

      Probably about half of the selfish dumbasses I’ve known were men. πŸ™‚

      I can’t delude myself enough to blame the tools of my own self destruction, so I have to say that the bad experiences I had with women were as much my fault as theirs, and even if not initially then certainly when the evidence was clear and the truth known and long before I booted them out the door. So it goes.

      If Amethyst and I had married on the date printed on our first wedding invitations we’d be celebrating 34 years on Friday. And we’d have both had far fewer troubles along the way, too. πŸ˜€

  2. girlforgetful

    Those women make me sick. They give the rest of us bad names. Whatever requirements I may have had for a man, they didn’t include meeting certain income requirements and bestowing gifts upon me for no other reason than because I was born female. I was happy as long as they had a job or at least were trying to get one when in between jobs, and treated me with respect i.e. no cheating, beating, or mean-mouthing. Oh, and if they have kids, they take care of their kids; not just pay child support, but spend time with them and be involved in their lives. I’ve always worked, paid my own bills, paid some of theirs at times when they needed help, and generally did not ask a lot of anyone except to be nice to me because sometimes life can get a person down. Give as good as you get is my motto.

  3. axiomatika

    just saying that the poorest people in this country are women who have been left to fend for themselves because the other party was equally irresponsible. and these folks are mostly below poverty level, a far cry from the complaints of middle class neo-feminists.

    well-written btw

    1. happierheathen Post author

      I feel deep sympathy for impoverished single mothers and their families. It’s a serious problem and a travesty that it occurs so often in the wealthiest nation the world has ever known or is likely ever to know. There aren’t words to describe how disgraceful it is that politicians are eager to reduce or eliminate programs that might help poor children avoid the lifelong effects of childhood malnutrition and tumultuous environments.

  4. ordinarybutloud

    Interesting. I never think of feminism or equality as having much to do with individual relationships between men and women. I mean, some people are assholes. Some people aren’t. I don’t know really what that has to do with gender roles or equality. My experience with sexism has been pretty clearcut, things like managers grabbing my ass when I was a waitress or when I was a lawyer, men saying things like, “woman should be at home taking care of the kids.” Snide comments, golf meetings, patronizing comments about my appearance…oh, once at a place I worked when I was a lawyer, all the partners (old white guys) made the women put on a “fashion show” to prove that pant suits on women aren’t slutty. Participate or wear skirts, was the word from the top. Obvious indicators throughout my adulthood that women are not equals in a workplace, regardless of qualifications or ability. Granted, I live in a very traditional part of the world, and by “traditional” I mean patriarchal. I’ve always figured that women who look for good providers as husbands are hedging their bets. I mean, it would be nice to be treated as equal, but given it’s unlikely, it’s probably a good idea to hook yourself up with someone who can do what you could do, if you WERE treated as an equal.

    1. happierheathen Post author

      What it has to do with gender roles and equality is that it is not equality if it does not extend onto the streets, into the home, and into the courtroom. The workplace is already an egalitarian environment by statute, so any violations of non-discrimination law can be litigated. Let’s just gloss over the fact that I’m a member of the only identified class who legally must be discriminated against in employment, as that’s a topic for another decade.

      That whole good provider/hedged bet thing just bothers me in a way that nothing else does. It makes the man into a beast of burden whose primary purpose is to work to bring the woman the life she believes she deserves — even though she will not or cannot go out into the workplace where non-discrimination is the law, and in most cases the practice, and earn that life for herself. I was the good provider a couple of times for those I now refer to as ex-wives, and I found that yoke to chafe something fierce.

      1. ordinarybutloud

        Ah. So you are of the opinion that most people abide by statutes, and that if they don’t, justice is usually served in a courtroom. I, myself, am not of that opinion. I am glad there is little or no discrimination against women in practice in the technology or engineering fields. That is reassuring. I know it is not the case in the legal, medical, retail, restaurant or financial businesses.

        1. happierheathen Post author

          I am certainly not of the opinion that justice is served in a courtroom, as (we both know that) dispensation of justice is not their purpose. The legislators put the laws on the books so aggrieved parties have a right to seek redress, and there’s nothing more they can do. The rights are there, which leaves it to the aggrieved parties to assert them or not.

          In 1968 my maternal grandmother took on her employer, her labor union, and the State of California with a(n EEOC) suit under the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The result was that California’s “women’s protection laws” were repealed, she got the promotion she was formerly denied, with back-pay, and the entire industry began hiring and promoting women into the same jobs and at the same pay as men. If she’d instead just sat on her ass all she’d have got was a place to sit and fume and bitch. She wasn’t at all concerned with women’s rights or any feminist agenda and disappointed television interviewers by saying so. Her motive was purely selfish — she was a pissed off man hater and “some damn man” had got her job.

          An old attorney friend (is that an oxymoron?) used to say, all the darn time, “The only guarantee is that if you don’t fight back you’ll get beat up”.

          1. ordinarybutloud

            Still, you can see that if a woman has to fight back to be treated equally, equality is not the practice in the workplace. Regardless, I get that you’re speaking from a place of personal experience and bitterness over the ill treatment you received at the hands of your ex-wives, and I can understand that. I just don’t agree that your experience generalizes. But I even understand if you think it does. I’m pretty sure the statistics bear me out, though, in terms of women treated equally in the workplace.

            Also, respect to your attorney friend, in my twenty years of legal experience I would say I’ve learned the only guarantee is that whether or not you fight back, you’ll get beat up. Or as prosecutors and law enforcement officers like to say, you can beat the rap, but you can’t beat the ride.

            1. happierheathen Post author

              None of this is about bitterness on my part. I’m not bitter and especially not toward my exes whom I referenced only as convenient examples. In order to be bitter I’d have to deny that I failed in my responsibility for self care, and in so doing deny myself the opportunity to learn and to grow by accepting the blame which is rightfully mine. I’m just sick of the shrill shrieking cacophony of women (and various other identified classes) who seek legal and moral superiority but insist that it be called equality.

              What my attorney friend meant by that is that you can’t win the fight you don’t take up. πŸ˜‰

              1. ordinarybutloud

                I see. Well. I have never heard a shrill shrieking cacophony of women seeking legal and moral superiority, but I can see where that would be super annoying. So I sympathize. I’m glad there aren’t any shrill shrieking cacophonies of women seeking legal and moral superiority in my world.

                Confession: I only listened to about 1/3 of that young lady’s videolog, and not because I’m offended by the word “fuck.” Just because I found her to be shrill, shrieking, and somewhat cacophonous. πŸ˜€

  5. digitalgranny

    Is that little attention seeker drunk? I am talking about the bimbo in the video.
    Equality is something I am all for as long as the person can do the same quality work as the other person, then the chance to get the job should be open to all.
    I do not see any reason for a pretty young woman to have such a foul, vulgar, mouth. There are rules in this world that apply to everyone and that is another thing that gets me-people yell they want equality but they are not willing to follow the rules.
    We all have rules to follow especially in the work world no matter who we are.
    Sorry I am on my soap box and I would be washing that young womans mouth out with soap.

    1. happierheathen Post author

      She doesn’t usually rant like that or pepper her speech so liberally with my favorite word. Heck, it’s a couple dozen of my favorite words, at least.

      The main reason I posted Ms. Marbles’ video was to let her do the ranting and most of the cursing up front so I wouldn’t feel a need to do it myself, and also to make myself appear more rational than I am by employing the deception of contrast. I’m not so sure it worked.

      Not that it matters, but I can’t think of even one human imposed rule that, in practice, applies to literally everyone. I’ve seen plenty of rules that applied to everyone of a certain class, but not to literally everyone. I’ve known factory workers to be fired for going to the restroom outside of break time, and white collar embezzlers who made off with tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars whose crimes were never reported to the police. Heck, I was in the Air Force with an NCO who got busted and something less than honorably discharged for showing up to work with alcohol on his breath just once, and a first-termer who went AWOL for more than two years who showed up on the last day of his enlistment and was on his way back home again with an honorable discharge four days later. The NCO was black and from a poor family, while the first-termer who was white had married while he was AWOL into a wealthy, politically powerful family in Texas.

      You’re quite welcome to get up on the soap box all you want when I’m not using it. πŸ™‚


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