My circadian rhythm is blown out again, which is why I’m sitting here in the middle of the night working. And blogging while a huge pile of files upload to a remote server. Shit shit shit, shit shit.

I guess I’m just sleep defective. My sleep patterns were just regular as clockwork until I worked a brutal rotating shift for a few years in the Air Force, but ever since then it’s been an unending battle. That rotating shift was a real stinker. Each cycle started with two 4:30PM to midnight shifts, followed by two midnight to 7:30AM shifts, then two 7:30AM to 4:30PM shifts, and three days off. Most of us were yawning zombies most of the time. It wasn’t entirely uncommon to see a guy come walking into the shop, stop with a confused look on his face, and then realize that it was his day off or his shift started eight hours later. Which might not have been all that bad if our site weren’t way the hell out in the woods some 35 miles off of the main base.

I’ve been fighting my broken circadian rhythm for more than 30 years now, and I’m tempted to just say fuck it and let my body decide when it wants sleep and when it wants to arise again. I worry that doing that might leave me nocturnal, which would be very inconvenient. I was mostly nocturnal for a while after starting my business, going to bed around sunrise and rising in the early afternoon, but that was mainly to minimize the ex-wife’s opportunities to interrupt my work. The rule then, as now, was that if the office door is open come on in, and if it’s closed don’t even knock unless it’s a genuine emergency. She never did get that one figured out, or maybe she just liked to be yelled at for breaking my concentration to ask me if I had heard the news about some event I couldn’t have cared any less about.

I really did like being mostly nocturnal, though. The world was quiet in the middle of the night, and the internet’s geekiest people were all awake and doing their things. Now it’d be inconvenient. Amethyst works from 4:30AM to 11AM, and during winter I drive her to and from work because she’s not keen on snow driving. I’d never get enough sleep.

Ah, fuck it. I’m going to bed now. I’ll probably rise just in time to pick Amethyst up from work, then nap a bit after returning home. And tell my sweet wife Happy Anniversary. We were married just nine years ago today. If we’d married on the date printed on our first wedding invitations we’d be less than a month shy of our 34th anniversary. Live and learn, eh?

Be well, friends and neighbors!


13 thoughts on “Blowout

  1. blacktarheart

    Huh. yes happy anniversary. and maybe some sun, melanin, and a break from the computer might help. the refresh rate of comp and tv screens screws with your brain and prevents sleep. easy to say though. harder to do. exercise? Tea?

    1. happierheathen Post author

      I’ve tried all kinds of things over the years. I’m a-thinkin’ now that I might give cannabis a try, tightly moderated to avoid short term memory problems. Thanks for the thoughts!

  2. ordinarybutloud

    Happy anniversary!! My natural pattern is to sleep between 2 or 3 a.m. and 10 a.m. I live for the day I can begin to live my life in that manner. What day will that be, I wonder??

  3. solberg73

    There’s that odd coincidence I recall from back when you first detailed it. I’m 9 years now with the princess I ‘met-cute’ 35 years ago and lived with then, for a time, in the late 70s.
    Just be glad you don’t have ‘cicadian’ rhythm. They sleep underground for 17 years, some of ’em.
    My blessings on your love-affair; it sure appears that you got it right.

    1. happierheathen Post author

      Thank you, good sir! I recall that coincidence, too, semi-vaguely. Too little sleep makes everything vague.

      One day I’m going to totally outdo those darn cicadas, and sleep underground for a very, very long time and maybe never wake up. But if I do wake up, I’m probably not going to go around annoying hell out of every other living thing with incessant noise.

  4. asexatheani

    Sleeping pills usually work for me. I use the Safeway-brand nighttime sleep aid. Usually makes me drowsy in 30 minutes or so.

    Different things work for different people, though, so do whatever works for you. 🙂

    1. happierheathen Post author

      Diphenydramine hydrochloride and I don’t get along. I was about your age the first time I experienced it, and even the first time that shit made it so I could sense my prostate gland. (I was going to say feel, but that might be construed to mean that I had my finger up my ass.) I’d much rather have a functional prostate than a nap! 😀

      Sometimes various legal sleep aids work for me, other times they don’t. When they won’t, none of them will. Cannabis has proven to be very reliable, though for years and years I didn’t dare to use it because I was subject to bullshit random drug tests due to my security clearance and/or employers with federal contracts. Now that I’m self employed and resident of an awesome state, I’m going to have to acquire some “for medicinal purposes”.

      Thanks just the same for the suggestion!


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