Heebie motherfuckin’ Jeebies

Have I mentioned that it’s black widow season in Dinkytown? About this time of year for about two weeks the damned things go looking for fine places to nest and lay their evil spawn, and they just love our garage. Just a moment ago I stepped out into the garage, and quickly moved to a space where there’s nothing overhead and did my usual inspection of the ceiling. My routine is that if I spot one on the ceiling, or too near something flammable, I hit it with the killer diller spider dispatching aerosol poison. Then I look around the walls, corners, and so on, and if I spot one that’s not too near something that will be harmed by it I take it out with the butane torch that is otherwise used for soldering copper pipe.

I did a quick inspection, then looked down and saw a young female black widow crawling up my right leg. She wasn’t fully black yet, as they don’t turn until after their first mating, so she was black in the cephalothorax but still turning in the abdomen, still kinda brownish. Of course I tried to grab the web she was hanging on but that’s kinda silly because their webs are so strong that you can’t just take hold and fling the little fucker away for a mighty stomping. Still, I had to try. That got me nowhere, so I flicked the little bitch right in the face because my middle finger nail is too tough for her to bite through. Or at least I think I flicked her in the face, but then I lost sight of her and no mighty stomping was possible.

So now I’m itching all over, and half of the itches feel like bites. Dammit. If I got bit I’ll know it soon enough. Not that I want to.


11 thoughts on “Heebie motherfuckin’ Jeebies

  1. sistermae

    Oh my goodness I hate spiders so far all I have killed is daddy long legs those sneaky things are in every corner every day and I suck em up in my distrusted and make Jeff take it outside

  2. cagey

    we get them all the time here, makes gardening a little tricky.. if you did get bit.. probably should head on over to the ER by now… can you get an exterminator?


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