The Neighborhood Monster

Ms. Amethyst had an encounter with our local monster this morning — the monster buck of whom I posted that fuzzy photo a while back, that is. Being a night owl I was still sleeping so I’m just a tiny bit envious.

She says that she was in the garage when she saw another buck, a four pointer, cross the driveway between the garage and the front of our truck (AKA “Doat”), so she quietly crept closer to the garage door to get a better look (through the windowed panels in the door). She watched the deer walk toward the south, then when she turned to her right to look straight out through the window she was face to face with the monster buck, just two feet away, who was looking in at her. She said hello to him, and he nodded his head like the macho stud muffin that he is and then after observing her for a time sauntered off following his buddy. She said that being so close to him she was able to get an accurate count and he’s a six pointer (counted Western style) and the tops of his antlers are well above the top of her head.

Life is good when the monster in the neighborhood is a deer.

Funniest Animated Cat GIF EVER

A Feline Oh Shit Moment

Kitty Leap Of Doom

I’ve had this GIF on my workstation for I don’t know how long, have watched it loop thousands of times, and still laugh my heathen ass right off every time. Amethyst does, too. A few minutes ago I had to kick her out of my chair so I could close the image viewer before we both keeled over from hyperventilation.

Random Complaining. And Not.

Not long after I crawled out of bed this afternoon I noticed a strange visual disturbance, like peering through rippling water in the right-hand periphery of my right eye. It was quite pronounced and not at all pleasant, and got me to doing some STFW.

Apparently, that’s a common enough thing for a migraine aura. Coincidentally, I’ve had a bit of a headache all day, too — and not one induced by ethanol, as I’ve had none for a few days. Maybe I should? There’s wine upstairs, and I’m baking bread this evening so I have excuses to go up there… Hmmm…

But I just have to ask: What is up with this migraine shit? I’ve suffered the cruel joke of post-coital migraine, but coitus isn’t implicated here either. Maybe I need both wine and sex? Amethyst is upstairs, too… And would likely give me the hammer blow to the head without all of that preliminary sexual intercourse to delay her getting back to sleep because she’s got to get up in less than four hours. She can be very efficient when she puts her mind to it.

Fortunately, both ethanol and cannabis seem to be effective as prophylaxis for those post-coital hammer blow migraines. Which is cool and good to know, but also kind of sick and twisted. Not tonight, honey, I’m not high enough to have sex with you.

Oh darn. I was going to experiment right here in live blogland to see if wine would stop the headache, but I left my wine on the dining table. At least I got the bread into the oven. ‘Scuse me… Okay, now, the experiment begins. I expect failure.

In other news, the client whose servers are being attacked by that nasty botnet didn’t even call me names when I hit him with the invoice. He did, though, ask if he could pay it over the span of three months. I’d rather see it all at once so it’s easier to piss a big chunk of it away, but a few installments won’t hurt either. I might not go hog wild on the installment plan, but I will probably try to buy one of those cool OnePlus One phones if I can determine with a high degree of certainty that it’ll work way out here in the sticks where 4G might arrive some time in the next decade. If that’s a no-go I guess I’ll have to spend more to get a lesser phone that will work here. Worse things could happen.

The wine doesn’t seem to be helping. Maybe I need to follow it up with a combustible analgesic of some kind? I’ve been working more than blogging, and it’s quittin’ time, and the bread has been out just about long enough to be snarfed. Holy shit what am I doing here futzing around with the Voidpress?

The RentedMule Virus

It’s difficult for me to come off of a long frantic run (of work) like the one I was recently on. The habit of running on adrenaline and self-sacrificing drive comes on quickly and easily but leaves slowly and reluctantly. I’m about two weeks behind in my work because of the crisis, and there’s a part of my brain that wants to spur me on to get caught up by the top of the hour. It’s like a computer virus, in that it was installed against my will by another in order to serve that other’s ends, and is detrimental to me. I call it the RentedMule virus because that’s how it makes me treat myself.


I’ve mostly rid myself of all of the vestiges of having been the child of pathological narcissists, but that damned RentedMule virus is persistent and pernicious. One day last week I found myself on the telephone with a client at about 9AM explaining that I’d been working on his problem since three o’clock the previous afternoon and just couldn’t go any longer — but I’d be back in three hours after catching a nap. I’d already explained that it was pretty damned pointless as we couldn’t solve his problem without the data center’s involvement so until their reluctance was overcome we were just wasting our time and effort… But three and a half hours later I was no better off for having taken a nap and was back on the phone with the guy.

The tech support drones at the data center? When quitting time comes they’re gone and there is nothing that can prevent it. Your silly little problems will just have to wait until Monday morning. And though it might leave some people unhappy, it’s accepted. It’s just the way things are. I don’t know how anyone would feel about me doing the same because I never have — my personal record is 75.5 straight hours at work without even a lunch break after the first day. And I was on salary at the time, too.

I think I’ll have to work on that. Sorry dude, I know your server is down and you’re losing thousands of dollars per hour, but it’s quitting time and I really must get high and pet my cat.

Oh, hey, it’s quitting time. I really must go now. I have to get high and pet my cat.

Just Doin’ My Job

On the good news front, my firewall machine is in front of the client’s server that’s still under attack and it’s now serving up web pages to legitimate users just as if the attack weren’t there at all. Yay. Yay me, in fact. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished and I’m not ashamed to speak openly about it. That’s something that used to give me trouble — I had a habit, a compulsive one at that, of downplaying enormous accomplishments by saying things like “just doin’ my job”.

This whole experience, being so recent, has got me to thinking that I ought to put together a core set of tools and their configurations that I can deploy quickly and easily when the need for them arises. Build it once, sell it over and over again, crapitalism at its finest. In my usual gig where I focus upon writing custom software I don’t get to do that. I write it once, sell it once, and that’s that. It’s not at all a bad gig; it’s never boring, it pays well enough most of the time,  and it enables me to live the way I want to live, mostly. I’d just as soon be independently wealthy and not have to spend time earning money, but if I’ve got to earn money I want to do it from right here in my home office and never have to concern myself with my appearance.

Additionally, I think that creating just such a thing might be a damned good idea for a venture that my dear wife has in mind. I get to be the technical guru for it, and she gets to stretch well beyond her experience and comfort zone to make it happen. If we just accept the financial hit of deploying a machine like the one I’ve got in mind even before we need it, then when it becomes vitally necessary I can just spend a couple of minutes configuring it to hold off the attack du jour and be done with it. We could then congratulate ourselves for being smarter than the average bear and call it all good.

Maybe we could even smoke some reefer and call it even better. She can’t at present join me in my favorite form of mind alteration because her employer will terminate weed smokers but tolerates raging alcoholics and even covers their addiction treatment on their health insurance plan. The funny part is that when we talk about it Amethyst says that she really, really wishes she could join me in it but can’t, whereas several years ago her story was that she didn’t dig it because it gave her “Frankenstein forehead”.

‘Scuse me. I must now smoke marijuana. It’s a fringe benefit that my employer buys for me. :D




It annoys hell out of me to work like a rented mule for ten days straight and then at the very end of it find myself all alone and so unable to implement the solution that’s at hand because I’ve worked so hard to make it so. That’s where I found myself today, or now officially yesterday, and I’m still quite displeased so quite likely to get high so I can put off my displeasure until tomorrow. Or officially later today, if you’re one who pays attention to the clock. Being a night owl I can’t do that — I start four out of five workdays on the same calendar day upon which the previous workday ended.

The interesting part is that I don’t yet know if this client is one who’ll just pay me for the time I’ve put into saving his business, or one who’ll force me to negotiate with him to achieve an outcome that leaves us both unhappy but hopefully somewhere shy of intolerably so. I’ve clients in both camps, and I absolutely love hearing from those in the former camp. It’s when I don’t know yet which I’m dealing with that I get a little nervous.

Oh, hey, it’s time to get heathen with high. See ya!